Saturday, August 8, 2009

lana-uncut, because i heart sally

this is me:


not in the physical sense, but in that weird comparison that people always make about having a good memory. i don't like the simile, but i'm going to go with it because it's the most recognizable, and also because i'm too lazy to start a whole new simile.

basically, i can remember a ridiculous amount of unnecessary details. i'm talking everything about everything that you never cared about remembering. you know that conversation we had about that new band we both liked three years ago? of course you don't. but i remember where we were, how the conversation started, what we had for lunch, and what we were both wearing.

i swear.

it's fucking sick.

even sicker is that i'm nearly thirty years old and i'm just now realizing exactly how unusual this is.

you want to know anything else about me? well, sally does. she said so herself on her blog. (about a week ago. sorry sally, i was in the grips of typhoid/diphtheria/scarlet fever/a really bad tummy ache). i've actually been tagged for this little thingy before by miss yvonne, and i complied by talking about myself and then tagging some other people. what happened was that the people i tagged either burned me up or ignored me. so this time i'm only going to do the talking about myself part, that's really my forte anyway.

so here's where i list ten things about myself that you don't already know:

1. whenever i hear someone say 'you're crazy' i always reply in my head 'i'm only mad north by northwest.'*

2. yesterday i was driving and saw an old hispanic man on a busy street waving a metal detector over the edge of the sidewalk. i thought to myself, 'what in the hell is that guy doing? there can't possibly be any buried treasure there!' and then i realized the metal detector was in fact a weed wacker.

3. i like pickles so much that sometimes b calls me pickley p. pickleberg. oh, and also because i'm a jew and i like pickles.

4. i don't think boxing counts as a real sport. or maybe i'm just disgusted by the brutality of it i can't understand how anyone could be a willing spectator.

5. my birthday season is fast approaching. what are you going to get me?

6. b just downloaded a bunch of the old classic video games onto the wii so last night we were playing bubble bobble at two am. full blown addiction. (the fruits of our previous internet battles with wires and routers and adapters oh my!)

7. i already shared this one with meaty, but i can count to ten in cantonese. my last job had a sushi bar and the sushi guys had so much fun telling me to say six and seven over and over. i finally interrupted their juvenile laughing fits to ask why and learned that the words for six and seven said together meant dick. i then proceeded to laugh like the juvenile that i still am at heart.

8. i don't understand why blogger keeps telling me that my request could not be processed. i wasn't asking you to do anything, stupid google shitass program!

9. i live thirty minutes from the town i grew up in and went to high school in. it's way too close and too far at the same time.

10. i just remembered there's a new flavor of beer in my fridge....


the ever-evolving essence of me will heretofore be on display at this location for as long as i am lazy enough to not sit down and post about anything else. enjoy!


*someone please tell me i'm not the only dork who knows this line.

16 comments:

Mr. Condescending said...

So you look like the elephant man? Lol jk.

I LOVE bubble bobble, I even have the ringtone of it.

Kristine said...

"and also because I'm a Jew and like pickles."

ahahaha!

Also, no clue what that line is from :/

Sally-Sal said...

Is it a James Dean movie? I love random quotes. And I love knowing ten random facts about you.

When I was little, I used to want to be Jewish. I had no idea what it was, only that it jived within my five year old self. :)

erin said...

North by Northwest is Hitchcock, with Cary Grant, who I just watched on AMC with Myrna Loy and Shirley Temple in The Bachelor and The Bobby Soxer!

And I'm totally going to download Bubble Bobble on the Wii tonight! After I watch Dead Like Me on my Roku player...yay for technology.

Dr Zibbs said...

You cwazee

Skitch said...

North by Northwest is a great movie. Funny, sometimes I'll think of that scene where Cary Grant's trying to wrap his head around the fact that the policeman is named Emil...just how he keeps repeating the name...lol. Not sure why it amuses me, but it does.

What do you want for your birthday? You need to make a list so we all don't get you the same thing. ;)

The Vegetable Assassin said...

You can remember ridiculous details and I can remember stuff that happened before I was even a year old! Really. It freaks my mom out. But it's there in my head. :)

I want a pickle badly right now. Thank YOU. (preferably a sweet pickle!)

Organic Meatbag said...

Hahahaha, I swear you are a riot, Lana! And why don't you get your mind out of the gutter and stop talking about cock-a-doodles in Cantonese!
Hmmmm, birthday, you say? I will keep this in mind...

Lana said...

mr. c- if there was a bubble bobble tournament, i might have to go and wreck shit!

k- if the shoe fits :)

sally- you must have known some friendly jews to make a five year old want to convert :)

erin- yes, that is the name of a movie, but that is not where the quote is from. and tell me what board you got up to in bubble bobble! i'm on 68 right now.

zibbs- you have no idea!

skitch- i've never seen the movie :( hate to disappoint, but that's not where the quote is from. and don't worry, i'll have a more comprehensive birthday post soon, i'm planning a little something for you guys :)

veg- now that's crazy! i've heard of that but never really knew anyone who could. mmmmmm, pickles...

meaty- i think i might be cursed with a gutter-brain, my poor kid has no chance. also, see response to skitch about my bday :)

Lana said...

ok everyone, here's where i drop mad knowledge from my nerdiness vault on you:

the quote is hamlet. it's the scene where he's talking to rosencrantz and gildenstern about how he's only pretending to be as crazy as people think he is so that he can get close to his traitor uncle and murder him. something about the concept of 'i can't possibly be crazy for real if i know that i'm only crazy on occassion' often rings very true for me.

Badass Geek said...

If your memory is this good now, just imagine all the fun you'll have tormenting your family when you are old.

LiLu said...

I will kill for pickles. Drastic? Perhaps. But true.

Lora said...

I'm an elephant too. Except for the things that my brain has erased.

I love pickles, but really only with peanut butter and mayo on white or rye

Lana said...

badass- oh the fun i will have! i need to grow a few more kids to make sure i have at least one who doesn't want to put me in a home. insurance baby, if you will.

lilu- a love worth fighting for. i commend you!

lora- have you tried pickles wrapped in slices of american cheese? or pickles dipped in cool whip? that savory/sweet combo i developed in high school was what made me realize i was destined to become a chef :)

JennyMac said...

I too have quite a memory..which has been a thorn in my parents side for life. LOL. But you got me on Pickleberg.

Mr. Condescending said...

lana, just wanted to let you know I gave you an honorable mention at my blog today.