Thursday, June 11, 2009

no gun show today folks

i used to get embarrassed easily, now i just get annoyed and cry.

this morning i had a meltdown in my car. i sat there, annoyed at myself for getting all worked up again. i knew that if i bothered b at work i'd hear 'why can't you pretend you're linda hamilton and you're going to kick some machine ass?! you need to be a little tougher sometimes and not so high-strung.'

instead i called the toyota dealership and cried to the service manager. and now i've come full circle because i'm extremely embarrassed about it.

i don't know about where anyone else lives, but here in the good ol' hudson valley we've had about five straight days of rain. normally, i find the rain to be refreshing, even comforting, as the sound of water drumming the leaves outside my window will often lull me to sleep.

rain takes a turn for the meaner side of irony, however, when your overpriced, gas-guzzling suv has a busted sunroof.

for the past three days i have been battling mother nature to spare the interior of my spacious vehicle. at three am last night i was convinced that my plastic wrap + garbage bag + towel contraption was the most brilliant idea i'd ever had.

and then i saw things in the light (greyness) of day.

i used to love that sunroof. its wide expanse provided me with a fresh, invigorating breeze after spending twelve hours working in a hot kitchen with nothing more than a pair of ceiling vents circulating the recycled air. there was always the issue of the bitchin' rectangle of arm-tan i'd have to work hard to avoid, constantly remembering to wear tank tops for a drive longer than 15 minutes, but aside from that no major complaints.

so now karma is having her fun with me. not only did my ass get sopping wet (through a towel) on the drive to the dealership, but i've been given a death-trap to drive for a week while they exorcise the demons controlling the sunroof positioning. the flashy yaris sport is eerily similar to the smartshitcar that i have bemoaned in the past.

when i installed the infant car seat, i noticed it was wiggling to and fro as if it were on roller skates and the backseat were a slick, polished surface instead of pleathery upholstery. luckily, little miss didn't seem to mind in the least. babies can be so accommodating sometimes.

returning home to find no viable parking and having to lug a twenty pound infant and all of her crap up an enormous hill to my front door was the icing on my day. i gave in and called b, if only to have him keep me from crying again.

he promptly told me that if i wanted a handicapped parking spot right in front of our door he'd be happy to take the yaris and run over my legs, hopefully rendering me a parapalegic and so in need of special treatment. b's always been good at giving me a little perspective on things.

on the plus side, i plan on falling asleep to the sound of the rain tonight.


Miss Yvonne said...

Awww, he's so sweet to offer to run you over with the yaris!

Hang in there, the rain will stop eventually and then you can be unhappy about the sun! That's what I would do anyway.

Mr. Condescending said...

at least its not snowing hehe

mylittlebecky said...

dude! sucks! fingers crossed that it all works out. sorry about your shitty day (and man, babies are heavy). i've ALWAYS wanted a sunroof.

ps um, didn't i give you an award? did i not tell you about it? eep.

erin said...

I'm a huge crybaby. I cry all the time. So much so that Jeremiah forgets to console me now. He's just like oh boy, here we go again...

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

The one piece of advice my father gave me that I always remember was to never buy a vehicle with a sunroof. No good could come of it.

Dr Zibbs said...

Someone needs a hug

(put out arms)

C'mon...there we go..

(pats back)

Brian said...

Lol, you're funny.

Skitch said...

Just blame everything on the rain...Milli Vanilli did!

Hope things get better for you!

Lana said...

miss yvonne- that was my favorite part too :)

mr. c- shhh!! don't jinx it!

becky- get the sunroof and the extended warranty at the same time. and i got the pic! (sorry i took 10 years to get there)

erin- i know, i hate when i cry :(

mjenks- what? you don't LOVE having weird tan lines, wet upholstery, and the occasional stray fly/bee/wasp all at once?

zibbs- (wiping tears with a small sniff) thanks, i needed that

b- hells yes (but mostly because i get to quote you a lot)

skitch- i didn't even see that one coming!! yay for surprising me with the funny :)

Organic Meatbag said...

linda kicked ass....AND without a bra! Hehehehe...