Thursday, September 10, 2009

my name is: you're a lying cheat!

as i sat down to type here tonight i was all set to write about b's breakup with his man bestie, but after three deleted paragraphs i'm realizing that the wounds are a little too fresh to talk about details just yet.

it was only two days ago that b asked if we could rent i love you man starring paul rudd in his quest for a best man.

not that he's sitting here moping about it. rather, i think he's stuck in that state of disbelief resulting from realizing that two people could disagree so deeply, so profoundly, about their life's values as to end a friendship. and not just end, but mutilate and dismember all the memories and even the very concept that that other person has defined in your own mind for so many years.

as hard as it might be for b to give up his binge drinking, sports talking, male ego boosting partner in crime, i know that he is aware of exactly how inevitable this ending really is. we've talked recently about how it may be hard to see yourself changing, but it's always clear when your friends don't evolve with you.

it's ok babysnakes, when you get home from work tonight with a sixer we'll sit here and shit-talk him til we can't take it anymore. then we'll talk about the fun times and tell silly stories.

and it'll suck a little bit less.

and eventually it won't matter.

and i'm pregnant again.

no i'm not, but i got your mind off the breakup for a hot second.

if it counts for anything, i love how you're willing, no, are compelled to stay true to yourself despite what it may cost you.

what about you, dear reader? why do you think buddy breakups are worse than dumping a lover? is it because somehow it's easier to love a friend?


Mr. Condescending said...

Every good male friendship I've had ends up dissipating at some point.

It just happens and it sucks, but least b has you to laugh and bang!

mylittlebecky said...

gah! i had the WORST girlfriend break up recently. it was all over my blog. it was very dramatic. and honestly? i still think about it sometimes. we were really tight. like really. then she did some things and yeah. had to cut it off abruptly. painful.

the last stab in the heart? she wrote on her fb page (i know, we're all grown up and everything) "a friendship that can cease to be was never really there at all." deep breath.

J-Rod said...

i think it's more of an understanding between guys... it's easier to change and move on losing a guy friend than it is with one of you girls. we just know when the end it and it's cool. for the most part. i'm sure there are exceptions.

i just want someone to call me babysnakes.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Having a bromance is designed to die once the true woman love comes around and the family has to come first. If buddy can't get out of the past that is sad for him. Now if the both have girls and families its cruel to keep them apart. Men need friends too...but friends at the same stage and that is the most important thing of all

Sally-Sal said...

Mr. C needs to be my best friend, just FYI.

And yes, best friend break-ups are the worst. I hate having to tell people (aka women) that "I'm just not into them"

I need a bestie who is okay with sarcasm, an amazing alcohol consumption, zingers, the ability to hang out with strippers, my undeniable sex appeal, and also my unflinching honesty.

Plus the fact that I'm a total dick. Which once again makes me think of Mr. C....

Anonymous said...

Friend breakups suck because I think you never know what to do with those feelings. People don't really talk about how to break up with a friend. I like that you distracted him with the pregnancy "scare" though. Good tactic.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I hate friendship breakups! It's like losing family! Sometimes people just drift apart though.

Lora said...

It's definitely hard. We tend to give the best of ourselves to our friends. We don't have to split chores or bills. Most time together is fun time. No fights, no squabbles.

Friend breakups are hard and sudden and painful, that's for sure

erin said...

Jeremiah and I just slowly drift away from people we don't want to be friends with anymore. Just don't return their phone calls, don't send 'lol' back to their text messages...graciously turn down email invites.
It seems like all the girl friends I get just want to bitch about their partners, and want to bitch about mine too, and Erin don't play that game.

otherworldlyone said...

All my friends have to pass a test once a year. If they fail they get pantsed in public and suspended until further notice.

Skitch said...

Life is a series of ever shifting relationships with varying degrees of commitment. It's hard for me to understand how some people can have friendships with those they went to grade school with when I maybe keep in touch with less than a handful of people I knew in college.

Some are meant to last, others not. The thing I hate most is when people try to keep them alive via the life support known as the internet (MySpace, Facebook, etc).

B will be fine in the long run, don't worry. :)

'Cuz I Felt Like It! said...

I broke up with my b-fri three and a half years ago. It was absolutely DEVASTATING. I had such a huge void when she wasn't around anymore. That's when I started makin' all my battle scarred bears and stuff. I needed something to take up my time. I actually wrote about it a lot and that seeemed to really help me.

It still sucks, but so does she.

Lana said...

mr. c- it really does take a lot of effort to keep some men happy.

becky- that line made me want to stalk her and beat her up. i still can't believe the extent that some people will go to to be hurtful.

j-rod- i give you authorization to use babysnakes. if you put it out there it might just come back to you.

cal- you said it with 'at the same stage'. unfortunately for these two, i don't think that that will ever happen.

sally- all of your bestie requirements sound like my idea of a good time!

jules- i agree! you can't get it off your mind yet you don't want to be constantly talking about it. it's hard to know what to do with that much emotion.

bs & bc- i like the drifters, i've never been one for unnecessary confrontation.

lora- that's a great point. and even if you did see it coming, you always hold out hope that maybe the end might not come.

erin- friend finding is so hard that each friend should come with a prize proportionate to their inherent friendship worth. can we market that?

owo- i like the idea of an annual test, but pantsing comes dangerously close to someone else's undies. that's a friendship secret i'd like to keep buried :)

skitch- so true about the need for evolution, and i think b's seeing that a lot more clearly after a few days removed from everything.

cuz- i love that line!! i'm glad you could find some catharsis and make me laugh at the same time :)