come and get it, it's giveaway time!!

after much flaking and painful disorganization, i have finally gotten my shit together to officially launch my blogoversary/birthday giveaway!!! i feel like celebrating my 100 posts, my six months of writing publicly, and my 30th birthday with all of you dear readers and i couldn't think of a better way to make you come to my party than to give you things.

as many of you may know, i have some issues with technology. this is not limited to, but does include blogging in general. i have put forth a certain amount of effort with this blog that surprises even myself. although i still have no idea what the little orange and white triangle lines thing on my sidebar means but everyone else seems to know so i play along. my point here is that apart from the number of people in the followers box, i really have no idea how many people may actually be taking time out of their day to read my words.

so i'm just going to assume that there's more than two of you and less than a million. and i appreciate each and every one of you more than i'm going to say lest i get all sappy and self-doubty. suffice it to say that for you faithful readers i have presents!!

i like to make things, but mostly things that i will use. i hate clutter and tend to clean up by throwing stuff out, a lot. lately i've been in a mood to consolidate rather than collect more products of my various hobbies. so i've been a busy little bee over here making presents for some lucky internet friends. it's a win-win!

first is a knit scarf. you may recall what happens when i attempt to knit things with rounded edges. clearly proven to be too much of a challenge for me, i have stuck to my comfort zone of small and rectangular to produce this eyelet scarf:

it's an acrylic blend in bright white, measuring six inches wide and about 45 inches long. i washed it in baby detergent because that shit smells so good i want to carry some around in my pocket and huff it whenever i'm having a stressful moment, and also because it makes things really soft and fluffy. personally, i think it would be great for a man or woman, white matches everything anyway. here's a close up of the detail:


next i have a two-fer. this was a little more difficult seeing as i hate baking and don't even own a rolling pin or a mixer of any kind, but i managed to make some non-poisonous pet treats. there's liver and carrot triangles for kitties and bone-shaped whole wheat cheese snaps for doggies. no fancy icing or sprinkles or other dessert related decoration here. these are bare bones, plain and simple pet treats. although monster sure seemed to like them enough to knock the scraps off the counter and stuff his face.

i put each in a plastic treat jar. they look like this:


i'd like to give them as separate gifts because i know many people have either one type of pet or the other. with each jar of treats i will also include the recipe that i used should you want to make them yourself once your pet devours their tasty goodness.

lastly i have something that i personally find to be hilarious. i wasn't sure if i was even going to offer it up for fear that no one would quite understand my sense of humor and find it as funny as i do. then i got over myself and realized that this is my giveaway and if you want shit than you can have what i give you.

unfortunately, i don't have a pic of it because it can't be truly finished until i know who's getting it. and since i can't show you, it's certainly not as funny to tell you. therefor my final gift will be the mystery gift.


i thought i'd run this giveaway pretty much like how miss yvonne did when she gave away her fancy insult gum. it was really the most fair way i've seen to do things. to enter, you can either comment on this post or email me at pearlhider (at) gmail (dot) com and let me know which gift you'd like. if you post on your blog with a link back to this post, that will get you a second entry. i will be drawing names for the prizes and posting the winners thursday the 17th.

i hope you enjoy my bribes and that they make you giggle and clap. and also that they make you come back here every once in a while to lurk or comment, whichever you prefer.