Monday, July 20, 2009

eyeshadow and boobies live happily ever after

of all the many wonderful things in this world to be addicted to, i might be the only one who needs a support group for over-use of glittery eyeshadow. i've known about my weakness for years. yet somehow, i cannot manage to 'just say no' when i open my blue and green flowery make-up bag, search deep in its dark corners, and my happy hand closes upon a round silvery case of sparkly joy.

i really do need help.

(don't worry coffee, you're still my number one addiction. now and always.)

then again, maybe it's not so bad because the sparklies usually fall off pretty quick. then it just looks like i'm not wearing any makeup at all. either way, my huge tatas will almost always capture someone's gaze long before the bad taste in eyeshadow does.

for example, in this pic where i showered and put on clothes that don't have elastic waistbands, you can barely see the aforementioned sparklies:


kristine and i had a lovely night out at a concert this weekend. no husbands and no kiddies. it was the definition of amazing. conor oberst, if you're out there somewhere, you're genius is mindblowing. and the guy at your merch table has a very weird haircut.

as we navigated our way through the field of fellow concertgoers, closer and closer to the stage, i also realized that glittery eyeshadow is way better than that gross patchouli smell. i might have stuck out like a shiny beacon amongst the throngs of hippies, but at least i didn't have that musky stink radiating from my body, like an olfactory needle piercing the brains of innocent music lovers.

i also immensely enjoyed dancing like a mime/mexican jumping bean hybrid, despite repeatedly and unintentionally hitting the ass of the man standing in front of me. thankfully, enormous boobies are great cover. the guy said if it was someone with a big beer gut slamming into him he'd have to wreck shit, but because it was me with a nice smile (low-cut shirt) he'd let it go. joke's on you guy, because i have both a beer gut and a nice smile.

and now i'll stop, before i give you any more reason to believe i'm that person you'd love to hate at a concert. but if it's already too late, i can tell you that i will most definitely be the girl wooo-woooing loudly in your ear at the end of each song.

you're welcome for that.

_____________

if you were at all interested in seeing some great pics from the show, you could go here to kristine's blog. she posted some great shots that encapsulated the whole night. and as usual, her paint skills can be rivaled by no one.

9 comments:

Lora said...

I'm in there with you sister!
I love sparkley eye makeup. Especially blue. How bad is that?

And patchouli smells like a dead skunk

Jules said...

Yay for sparkly eye makeup! Glad to know I'm not the only one still using it!!!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Well, I was getting annoyed, but then I saw your [strike]enormous tatas[/strike] great smile. And that made everything better.

It won't let me strike the text. So, I did that. Pretend it's stricken in a sort of "I'm not a creepy internet stalker I'm just trying to make you laugh but I did totally check out your [strike]boobs[/strike] eyeshadow in the picture" way.

Sally-Sal said...

I, too, am a fan of the sparkly eye makeup. At least, until one of my guy friends called me Ziggy Stardust.

Bastard.

Kristine said...

I think it had all sparkled off by the time we'd gotten in the car. I just didn't have the heart to tell you. I think I saw some on your nose :)

WOO-WHOOOOO!

Lana said...

lora- if you can work the blue you get serious props for that!

jules- me too!!! i'm glad i'm not alone :)

mjenks- i'm the computer tard who will never even learn how to write strikethrough, so the fact that you tried is already more than i would have done.

also, thanks for explaining :)

sally- guys will never understand. we don't wear it for them, it's for the other chicks to see how cool and sparkly we are.

k- the funny thing is that i still have some lingering on my cheek that i just can't get rid of. and also, thanks for the tinyhead reference. made my day!!

Mr. Condescending said...

I think there's nothing wrong with glittery eyes and well placed boobage!

Keep on truckin!

Ps - you gonna do my guest project? Kristine is!

Badass Geek said...

No concert is complete without some girl, some where, screaming "WOO HOO!" at least once.

Organic Meatbag said...

Now see, Lana, I am an avid concert goer, and I never get anything nice like your boobs in my back...I am the only that gets the mulleted beer-bellied asshole that shouts for "Freebird"...at a non-Lynard Skynard concert...