it's not cheating if it's imaginary

if i was single, and i could date a grocery store, it would be you stop & shop. not only do you have all the really great organic and all natural foodstuffs, but you sir, are quite the charmer.

flattery will get you very far with me. and if you happen to be a corporate food retailer, spread throughout multiple states, sending me fancy letters about how valued i am (my business is) will make me blush and say 'oh, you' with such convincing faux modesty that you will soon find me throwing myself at you in uncontrollable fits of passion.

that was your intended response, right?

either way, i am so filled to the brim with love for the fact that you appreciate me, dear stop & shop, that i decided that i should pay it forward. i'm going to put the fancy bananaman you gave me to good use. his toothy smile and purple smoking jacket/hawaiian shirt covered in your emblem shall live on forever on the internet, perpetually brightening the day of those who are fortunate enough to gaze upon him.

behold bananaman:



i know how badly you all want his sexiness to grace your sidebar. he's a friendly guy, ask nicely and i'm sure he'll come hang with you.