Thursday, November 5, 2009

death may come and her name is crow

sometimes i can be a little indecisive. sometimes i can be a little spontaneous.

sometimes i have a problem with starting sentences with 'sometimes...'

sometimes i like opinions, i want feedback, i need help.

sometimes i don't give a shit what anyone else thinks.

today i care about what you think. today i want your opinion. but that could be because i'm a little scared of the answers i gave myself.

so in a totally self-serving way, i am going to pose an interactive question for you.

first, check out this ten second clip. please.



thank you.

now, is the sound:

a) my own private death harbinger

b) a bird possessed with a baby demon

c) the gates of hell opening up to swallow me alive for hating birds so much

or

d) something else that might have nothing to do with birds and/or hell


ps. i hate birds.

i hate their feathers.

greasy, dirty feathers.

i hate their beaks and their beady eyes.

i hate that their nests are germ cavities in which they breed more germs.

i hate their sounds.

i hate their wrinkly, leathery textured legs.

i hate their eggs.

i can't help but picture the eggs covered in slime, nesting in the nest, waiting to birth baby birds also covered in slime.


maybe they know.

that must be why they stalk me so.

19 comments:

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I can't hear it too well, but that's either a hawk (heavy lean) or a squirrel (slight maybe).

miss. chief said...

ahahaha I wore the no birds allowed shirt last night!

Lora said...

I can't watch videos at work, but if there was a bird near by, it's sure to bring death.

inannasstar said...

It's definitely a squirrel. They usually make that noise when they perceive danger.

Whiskey Girl said...

I'll be right over to shoot your squirrel. ;-)

Lana said...

mjenks- i know the sound isn't so great on my camera, and the fuss banging remotes on the table in the background doesn't help. but i hope it's not a hawk because it was definitely in the tree right outside my window.

miss- yay!! i'm glad someone's getting some use out of it :)

lora- the only way i'd be ok with the death bird would be if it was coming to take my neighbor, the toothless wonder.

inannasstar- hi! and i hope you're right, squirrels seem less vile than birds.

courtney- i knew guns would be good for something :)

Dr Zibbs said...

That's creepy.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I hate that birds regurgitate their food and feed it to their babies....get a blender for that shit!

Stacie's Madness said...

i think it's d...


and d for damn that's scary. :)

Jules said...

B!!!!!!!! Because birds are scary!!!!

Am I right???

PorkStar said...

I've heard a sound similar to that, but from some squirrels.

At my previous home, a big ass tree behind the apartment had a bunch of squirrels hanging out, and i remember one of them making a sound similar to that. It stopped when I sling shot the little fucker and it went straight to the ground.

Bulls eye!

Lana said...

zibbs- right?! you're lucky it hasn't found its way to your yard yet.

bs & bc- so gross!! as far as i'm concerned birds need to be extinct like their buddies the dinosaurs.

stacie- at least i heard it in the morning and not at night. i would have lost it.

jules- you may be right, although there's no way i'm investing in a bird exorcist.

pork- how bout you hop on metro north and bring your sling shot? i've always had poor aim...

Kate said...

Birds are evil, but that sounds like a squirrel. Or as I call them "Rats with furry tails."

Occasionally called Robbie said...

In a tree? Could be a scared kitten that has just discovered hights are scary. And Kittens aren't a freaky as birds :)

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Yeh, you are pretty much hooped. I would tell you to bring in a voodoo priestess to take off that bad ju ju but that would involve the sacrificing of a chicken - see...more birds. I had crows chase me around alot this summer and look, I am still alive. But your's are no doubt tea bagging Yankee crows and that one didn't sound at all well - in the head I mean. Best to just bash his little bird head in if you get the chance. Just to be on the safe side.

Harna said...

I fucking HATE birds too! Except I've never really given that much thought to their slime covered eggs and slime babies. Thanks for giving me another thing to be neurotic about.

Lana said...

kate- hi! and i think i hate squirrels now too

robbie- hi! i hope it was a kitten. they eat birds right?

cal- crow bashing would require close contact. how can i train monster to eat them without getting within ten feet?

harna- you can't be an official bird-hater without hating the slime. welcome to the club :)

Carol said...

Squirrel - no doubt. We have trees full of them and when the cat has pissed them off they will sit there for hours making that awful noise.

We keep a BB Gun handy. Even if I miss and it hits the tree, they seem to notice and take off. Plus, if they get hit with a BB (as long as it's not in the head) they will scamper off and die somewhere away from you!

BrightenedBoy said...

That was eerie.