Thursday, August 20, 2009

golden brown looks good on me

these are my favorite flip flops.


now i know that i'm in between pedicures, so you'll have to excuse the nudie toes. b is a big supporter of my bi-monthly pedicures, mostly because he hates toes in general. he was shocked to learn that in no way is toe-hair removal a part of the process. i could share the story about the time he tweezed my toe hair out because they bother him that much, but he made me promise not to ever, ever tell anyone about it.

me, i'm not worried about it so much. i've had a lifetime to look at my toe hair and i'm ok with it.

back to my flip flops. so i wear these brown babies pretty much every day in the summer. sure i have others, but these always manage to find their way to my feet without me even thinking about it. there is one major downside, however.


every night, as i'm lounged out on the couch, limbs all a-splayed in every direction, b will inevitably burn me up for my ridiculous flip flop tan lines. but that's ok, i can take the heat, i love the sun.

b, on the other hand, for those of you who don't know him, is so white that if you were to put him on a beach he'd glow like a brilliant beacon amongst the pale sand and bright wash of sunlight. his skin may or may not be translucent. he gets sunburn through his clothes and shoes. although, when i'm sixty and wrinkly he'll probably be sixty with soft, supple skin, fresh as a baby's behind.

right, so you know what i have to say about all this mocking of my tan lines?


if you'll pretend you don't see the gigantic big toe on the right side there, you can proceed to be impressed with how i can give you the finger with my toe.

i know, i'm so talented.

oh, and also, because he's currently not annoying the shit out of me, here's monster looking all cute:



finis.

16 comments:

Organic Meatbag said...

Hehehe, golden brown suits you well, Lana... and seeing the pictures made me feel like somebody is trying to push me into foot-fetishism...hahaha! Don't worry, it isn't working...hahahaha!

Kristine said...

Listen, you know I love you.
(But your feet really gross me out.)

xo
K

Kristine said...

:)<---SMILEY FACE!(!!)

Badass Geek said...

My wife can flip me the bird with her feet, too. It's an unsung talent.

Lora said...

I have the same lines, and I think they are sexy!

Courtney said...

I rock the flip flop tan every year!!!

Lana said...

meaty- never, ever in a million years would i have thought that talking about my toe hair would push anyone into a foot fetish :)

k- at least i spared you a close-up of the nubbin :):):):):)

badass- right?! now how can we use this talent to make bags of money?

lora- they are, but mostly on you!

courtney- if you have oddly pale ankles than you really are my twin soul :)

miss. chief said...

i have one of those lovely tan lines as well, but because one of my feet has a tattoo and the other doesn't (because i'm a huge wuss) it looks like only one of my feet is tanned.

'Cuz I Felt Like It! said...

O shit that was funny as hell! At first I saw the picture before I read and I thought, "damn that girl's got some jacked up toes!"

I just recently had my favorite pair of flip flops blow out....three broken toe nails later, I've moved on to another pair.

Harna said...

Dude, you just flipped the toe bird. That's talent - really and truly.

j said...

you're feet look like they had thongs on. the good kind.

b better be impressed.

Lana said...

miss- that would drive me crazy!!!

cuz- that sounds like a really dangerous pair of flip flops. i'm glad you've moved on :)

harna- thanks, it's the little things that mean so much!

j- huh??? b tells me to just go out barefoot to get rid of the lines, i think he's secretly jealous of my tanning abilities.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I have one pair of flops I wear all summer too and they have a distinctive pattern that is always burned into my feet. Stupid sun. :) Well, not that we've had any this year practically. Please send some sun.

Lana said...

veg- i'm on a mission to find sun! i'll send it to canada for sure :)

Stacie's Madness said...

I have flop tan lines too...and um, just shave the toes when you shave your legs...or maybe that's the problem. :)

mylittlebecky said...

aaaawww, doggie! fli flops are the ballz! i love my rainbows but i had a wicked time breaking them in.