Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I Love Kristine the Best*


It's me, Kristine! From Wait in the Van?

Sigh. Moving along.

I had a really great idea about what to write for Lana's blog today, but I had the idea at night right before I fell asleep. And I am SO not one of those people who keeps a pen a paper on her nightstand. Hell, I don't even really have a nightstand; it's more like a cardboard box. So, instead I tell myself, "Oh, hell yes, that's hilarious Kristine! You're so amazing and funny and gorgeous and skinny...and....SNORE." Then I forget.

So I went through some of my crap. You know, that I keep in my cardboard-box-nightstand, and I found THIS:

And I figured, since Lana's out of town and all, we could totally talk about her behind her back! HA! And by that, I mean, she'll totally be in the loop and reading it and listening and shit because this is HER blog. So it'll be pretty much just pretend. And full of love. Because we love Lana. And that part's NOT pretend. YAY! Rainbows!

This picture was probably taken in like 1996 or something. We were apparently sitting on the floor in my bedroom in the house my family rented during my middle-high school years. It was the only free-standing house I lived in until I graduated from college. Don't you feel sorry for me?

Well don't, because we're here for LANA. I like this picture so much because it captures quite a bit of what defined us as angsty teen punk shitheads. I mean, do you SEE my room? And those clothes? Including the shirt I'm actually wearing? Sal's Boutique, baby**. We were all class.

Also, I'm not wearing my glasses. Neither is Lana. Big deal, right? Probably contact lenses! Um, no. More like, probably we thought we were cool enough to walk around blind because SEEING ISN'T REALLY A BIG DEAL. And if we were in fact wearing contacts, Lana's were probably covered in fungus (changing them is optional) and mine had probably fallen off my eyeball. Hey, dry eyes also happen without herbal supplement, smart alecs.

This was also the house where I considered myself cool enough to throw a party while my parents were away. And by "throw a party" I mean, invite a full band to set up in my living room and let the place get totally out of control while I get tipsy on 2.5 beers. When my mother came home the next afternoon, she found an empty in the oven, the heat cranked to 80, and a missing block of mozarella cheese. We really knew how to party.

So, let's cheers to Lana, the cheese-loving-contact-abusing-formerly-man-clothes-wearing blogger who is totally vacationing WITHOUT ME right now.

Love her.


*You can tell this is not written by Lana because it's properly capitalized and stuff. So I don't feel all that badly for making her pretend to declare her love for me.

**Um, or you could also call it The Salvation Army Thriftstore.


Badass Geek said...

Hey. Man clothes are comfortable.

Yellow Trash Diaries said...

Kristine sent me over here, so BFF points for her. Totally makes up for that big loan and driving two hours to get her. Well, that's how it works with me and my best friend, anyway.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I'm confused. If I think you two are hot now AND I think you were hot back then, does that make me some kind of sicko.

Never mind. I figured out the answer to that. Yes, yes it does.

erin said...

I wish I was on the beach right now...except we don't know each other in real life so you couldn't be guest blogging for me with delightful stories about our childhood together.

Dr Zibbs said...

Awww - look at lil' Lana...

Anonymous said...

I can't get over what a lucky find it must have been to get shirts like those with your names on them!

I hope you still have them.

Captain Dumbass said...

I do have paper on my nightstand, but when I read things the next morning I usually have to eat the paper quickly before anyone else sees it and hospitalizes me.

Nobody understands.

mylittlebecky said...

aaaww, how cute! and so the legend begins :)

Mr. Condescending said...

look at you rebels. what was in your tape deck at the time?

Lana said...

badass- i know, as were men's shoes.

yellow- hi! and yeah, there's so many things they can get away with, including that cracked out pic of us k posted. (jk i LOVE it k!)

mjenks- our hotness doesn't fade, it grows with age.

erin- i so can guest blog about such stories! have you forgotten about my paint skills? no one will ever know...

zibbs- i might be high there, i don't even remember that pic

imnotbenny- i sleep with mine every night :)

captain- hi! and um, that's how i feel about everything i say. except i spew it forth without making the effort to write it first.

becky- you don't even want to see the pics of us when we first met. 13 years old in mr. stern's math class, good times.

mr. c- i think in '96 we were busy calling in to the local radio station to play a song for us and then calling back because we were too drunk to hear it the first time.