Tuesday, March 17, 2009

keep it short

my 5-month-old daughter hates it when i trim her nails. but that's to be expected, she's a warm ball of wiggle these days and the five minutes it takes for a proper trim is way too long for her to spend still.

but grown men have no excuse. none.

you know who i'm talking about, those men that you see with long nails that get so thick from lack of constant care. it makes me shudder to even picture it in my head. why do men have such a hard time recognizing when it's time to cut their fingernails before they get that gross nosferatu-esque look to them?

a man in a committed relationship should not only want to stay appealing to his spouse, but may also have the added bonus of a particularly compassionate mate who would remind him, 'honey, time to file your claws.'

a single man should be especially conscious of his grooming habits. now, those that go to extremes with facials and waxes, great. but there are many who neglect the basics. for instance, the 40-something guy my husband just hired to work in his office.

this guy wears no wedding band, and has not mentioned any current romantic interest. he's one of those that speaks in sentences structured purely for the purpose of showing off his immense vocabulary. clearly the type who should be concerned with making himself presentable. yet no matter how well-spoken he is, i have to hear my husband repeatedly describing how this guy's overly long fingernails get in the way of his just being a regular guy, 'you don't understand, they're SO long.'

there's that shudder again.

how can this issue be so prevalent? is it laziness? or perhaps it goes back to a person's upbringing, and the parents who didn't stress the connection between social acceptance and neatness of appearance? regardless of who's to blame, it's not too late. we can all reach out to someone. for the greater good, buy a pair of clippers and anonymously leave them on your co-worker's desk.

if that doesn't work, then he's a lost cause and should be ignored henceforth, as if he is no longer a part of the human race.

UPDATE: 'nails' (as he is now called by my husband) is responsible for drawing a new client bringing in loads of business. i guess something's working for him after all.

1 comment:

Brian said...

I could have used his thin, pointy nails today to get a splinter out of the palm of my hand.