Friday, May 8, 2009

a message to the kid walking alone who thought it was cool to verbally assault me

ok kid, enough with this bullshit. i know you're only about eight years old and all, but that doesn't give you free reign to be a punk-ass.

i'm not even going to waste my breath talking to you about respecting your elders, nay respecting people in general, but i will say that you're damn lucky you're not my kid.

and when did you learn that that oh-so-irritating teeth sucking sound is an appropriate response to hearing something you don't want to hear? that's almost worse than when you called me a 'lying bitch.'

i think it's high time you took your little tush home and begged for your mother's forgiveness and professed your undying love and support for her and all the things she does for you. maybe give listening to her a chance, there could be some valuable information there.

then again maybe not, i did find you wandering dubois st. at nearly ten pm on a thursday night.

anywhoooooo, at the very least, if you're going to ask a stranger for money, try using the 'my family has no money for food so they send me out to the streets to beg' routine. it will get you worlds farther than the 'hey lady, you got fitty cent i can hold?' bit. even though i know you're only going to use that fifty cents to buy a *gasp* sugary soda at the corner store.

that is all.


ps. tell your mother i said happy mother's day for me.


9 comments:

miss. chief said...

kids are dicks sometimes

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Panhandling is actually regulated here in North By God Carolina.

I've never given them a dime. But, I've decided that the only bums I'll give money to are the ones standing at the top of the exit ramps. And only then I'll give it to them if the light is green and I can go screaming through the light and wing it at them through my window.

Lana said...

miss- right? i was afraid i was the only one who thought it

mjenks- i will give money to kids and food to adult bums, but this kid was a brat who was out on his way to make trouble. i can't support that unless it's my own trouble.

Vic said...

Those are the kids we see breaking into cars at the high school later.

Hope you put the fear in him.

erin said...

I had a run in like this after picking up a shift for my dad's tech one night. Our downtown has turned totally to shit and there's hoodlums everywhere. So this kid and his friends followed me the whole way home saying sexual shit the whole time. They were like 10 at the oldest. So I wasn't afraid per se, just totally pissed.
I called the cops as soon as I got home and walked back downtown to watch them get busted.

Mr. Condescending said...

I hate those kids!

Lana said...

vic- i sure did, i said 'no' very firmly when he demanded the fitty cent from me (clutching my bag, turning my rings inward to my palm, and running across the street)

erin- i love that you went back to watch :)

mr.- yeah, they need an intervention, 'kid, don't be a dick or you'll end up in jail' kind of thing.

Brian said...

On the one hand I feel bad because this kid's life is probably over before it even began, most likely becuase his parents, if he even has them, are completely worthless.

On the other hand, we should all start carrying guns.

Skitch said...

Funny thing is that panhandlers in some areas make a lot of money. He just might be an enterprising, industrious young man!

Nah...probably a jerkoff like most people who do that...lol.

My devil's advocate doesn't make the same strong arguments he once did! ;)