Friday, May 22, 2009

if i knew how to make a fancy fireworks display, i would do so now

at this very moment i find myself succumbing to the inevitable boob sweat that will plague me for the rest of my days, and also to the fact that during my brief respite from everyday busy-ness i will end up sitting at my computer chugging coffee like it's going out of style.

on this cheery sunshiney morning i can only think about how amazingly awesome it's going to be to have b around for a long holiday weekend. and since i should be doing something else instead of blogging right now, i will offer up a small list of things to look forward to this weekend:

1. not working with dick chef (sexist asshole who won't let me get near a heat source because that's for menfolk)

2. any and all time spent with family so that i can pass off the baby and drink a shit ton of beer in the middle of the afternoon

3. getting out of the house and away from monster's incessant barking and therefore not have to hear myself yell 'shut the fuck up you stupid mongrel' every five minutes

4. eating more hot dogs than i want to count

5. allowing myself to pretend that someday i'll be able to own the boat i've always wanted and picture myself out on the river basking in the sun (as i watch every other assclown in the hudson valley out on their boats that they probably don't even appreciate as much as i would)

6. finally getting a pedicure so that when i wear my flip flops you're blinded by fluorescent orange nailpolish and don't notice how big my big toe really is (or how sad my little nubbin of a pinky toe is)

and i think that might be more than i can handle this weekend, but i'm damn sure going to try. i know this holiday is really about commemorating those that have given their lives in battle, but there are plenty of americans who may not have died but gave of their lives when needed. on that note, i want to thank my brother, a veteran of the iraqi war, and all others for doing what i know i never could. THANKS FOR BEING STRONG FOR ALL OF US!!!


Dr Zibbs said...

I am soooo gonna be drinking all weekend!

Trailer Fun Researcher said...

im drinkin toooooo

Brian said...

You stole my fire! I was gonna do a serious post about Memorial Day, but I'm glad you brought it up :)

When did you start saying 'shit ton?'

P.S. word verification: blerpo

Lana said...

zibbs- yay for beers!

trailer- i hope you get some fantastic drunk footage as evidence of the hicks that occupy the greater upstate ny area

b- i wasn't all that serious, more distracted and rambling, so don't let me stop you :)

Kristine said...


I can't wait for T9 to sleep through the night so I can enjoy a beer (or two)!

Jerrod said...

I'm recalling the term boob sweat with... boob icing.


LiLu said...

Ha- B used to blog and occasionally steal my thunder, too- love it :-)

Happy long weekend, darlin!

mylittlebecky said...

hope you had a great weekend and that your toes were sufficiently painted ;)

Lana said...

k- i hope you got a sufficient buzz from your two beers, i know i did :)

jerrod- it's a cold hard fact, boob sweat is gross and no delicate term will ever change that

lilu- hope you had a blast with your b!

becky- never made it to the asian-lady-nailpolishing-place :(