when b and i get bored...

...we act out murderous fantasies on inanimate objects, often using ketchup as a visual aid.

most recently, we've been talking about destroying our possessed computer, describing over and over to each other the many ways that we could make it suffer for all those viruses, white-outs, and restarts it put us through.

today we got to have our fun, at least half of it anyway. we replaced our monitor. nothing fancy, an old hand-me-down from b's office, but it was a gift from the heavens because it allowed us to throw out the old one. gone are the days of mysteriously going to 'sleep' and not waking back up, no more will it flash beams of light from a black screen at me, moving as if someone was shining a flashlight beam from the inside.

the computer's still kicking around, for now. maybe when it sees the pics of what we did to it's buddy mr. monitor it'll have second thoughts about that.

so we started with your average, ordinary-looking monitor. you can't see the evil from the outside, but it's soul is as black as a desert night. then we did this to it:

then this:

before finally letting it writhe in misery amongst trash that it's not even worthy to keep company with:


it felt so good. a natural release of all of our frustrations, culminating in that moment of being able to walk away knowing that wretched monitor was in the dumpster, and there it would stay.

at least we didn't burn it.

we thought about it, but not owning a fire extinguisher was the deciding factor.

todd wasn't so lucky.

of course, there was no fire extinguisher that night either, but he really had it coming, with his big hair and sideways smile.

before you write us off as a couple of psychopaths, consider this, how many other people can channel their frustrations in a way that's (relatively) harmless and will bring years of laughter and embarrassment for future generations?